Taking care of others starts with taking care of yourself

When taking care of an aging parent it's important to remember to take care of yourself It may seem like heresy to do things for yourself when your parent needs help, but it's a crucial part of the job. The fact is, you'll be of little use to your parent if you are exhausted, resentful, depressed or sick — and all too many caregivers are exactly that. Define the job. As much as you may want to, you cannot do it all. So decide what you are willing to do. Then make a list and stick with it. Don't keep trying to do more. Accept help. This is a big job and most of us cannot do it without loads of helpers. Sign up for community services (meal delivery, homemaker programs, adult daycare, in-home health care, etc.). Recruit other relatives to help and see if neighbors or your parent's friends might take on some small tasks. Take breaks. If your parent's care consumes a significant chunk of your life, get away from the task occasionally. Find someone who can step in for you or see if there aren't respite services in your parent's community. Go out for dinner with a mate, have a bath, or take a vacation. Do something else, think about something else. Your parent will survive and you will be a better caregiver. Spend time with friends. Studies show that caregivers who have social supports (friends, family, support groups) experience less depression and illness. Coffee with a pal may feel like a luxury, but it's a necessity. Laugh. Laughter makes the world more sane (or at least it makes the insanity more fun). And scientists have shown that it actually improves one's immune system and circulation, not to mention one's outlook on life and ability to cope with the impossible. No comparisons, please. Don't listen to other's opinions of what you're doing and never compare yourself to other caregivers. Every situation is different. You may have a more stressful relationship with your parent, fewer supports, a more demanding job, or just different priorities and makeup. Trust in yourself to find the balance that is right for you. Source: How To Care for Aging Parents The complete Guide